>Sometime in the spring we found out the Sam’s grandma had cancer. It was found on accident; she had a little bump on her head that wasn’t healing properly, and when the doctor removed and biopsied it, we found out it was kidney cancer. A scan showed that it had spread throughout her body, and her time was short. We’ve spent most of our weekends at her house since we found out, and on July 3rd she passed away, surrounded by her family, blanketed in love.

In the two years I’ve been dating Sam I’ve really gotten to know his family, and Grandma was one of my favorite people. I remember the first day I met her, was at Sabrina’s birthday party; I had already met Sam’s parents but this was the first day I met his sister and niece, and grandma. I didn’t know anyone at the party, but Grandma made me feel comfortable and included, and spent the better part of the afternoon telling me stories about her garden and her life, and, of course, Sam. At Thanksgiving dinner we were competing to see who was the slowest diner at the table, she or I (I won!), and at Christmas she treated me like any other member of the family. She had a great sense of humor and quick wit. Her garden is a sight to behold – I remember the first time I saw her yard I was enchanted; it was precisely the type of place my younger self would have found endless hours of imagined adventures. Even to the end she loved to sit out there and soak up the sun, watch the birds, listen to the wind whisper through the leaves. I went over there a few times to give her a gentle massage, and the last time I saw her, really saw her, we sat outside for an hour together, just sitting, and watching, and listening, while she relaxed, and I massaged.

At the funeral, the minister said something that really struck me: The Four L’s. Live, Love, Learn, Leave a Legacy. He added a fifth L for her, Laugh. It made me think about how I live my life, am I doing what I need to do to be happy and fulfilled. Who are the people I love, and how do I treat them? How do I show them that I care about them? What have a learned, and what am I learning? And what is my legacy? Of course, I hope I have a lot more time to reflect on these; Grandma was a great example, the type of person I hope to be like one day. I’m sad that I didn’t know her longer.

Sam and I with Jeanne, Christmas 2008